mystified

Here I stand entangled, bewildered
In this world of plastic
Far too perplexed to comprehend
The artificial conduct around

My soul desires freedom
Ignorant about the dismaying verity
‘They’ confirm pretense and brutality
Maintain to incise conviction

A horde of things undiscovered, unseen
Resembling the unnoticed me
Often touch the tender heart
And force me to think

The earth, supposed to be divine
Is anguished, offended, disturbed
The blaze believed to brighten
Is critical, unprincipled and alarming

I want to liberate self, I cannot
I fail to recognize 'why?'
A million thoughts enclose my mind
Yet, I wonder 'why?'

Happiness

A smile, with the soul to it devoted
Prevails over copious faces heated
A Solitary moment of joy
Lets entirely nothing annoy
All toil, all love, recognize and stand
To cherish and tribute the life so grand
It is a blessing one cannot do without
For happiness is what living is all about

friend......the ultimate 'boon' to LOVE

DAY I
It was 8:am in the morning and rain dominated the occasion. I wanted to continue sleeping, as it was a holiday while I realized that mum had set 4 alarms in a row for me to get up and why not? It was ‘10th grade’! I forced myself to wake up. I walked to the mirror, smiled before it for sometime and then ruptured laughing. I brushed my teeth, took a 35 mins shower and rambled around for sometime. I then advanced to my study table. It was 9:am by then. After completing an hour of mathematics, my mind switched between physics and the latest issues around. The instant the clock hit 11; I hummed, “oh shit! I must keep up my record of not getting late.” I right away prepared myself and it took 15 mins from home to barista. On reaching, table no.12 was adorned with 2 mugs of hot chocolate fudge, the classic Italian pizza without tarnishing and 4 orchids in the center. The everyday 11:30am quarrel at the bench beside was obtainable. The melody of Mozart was evident at 11:30am. I then heeded to the tone that said, “I know I am late but I am that busy you see, I have so much to do…. after all, I am the only responsible being around. And hey! I must tell u something really sad.” I turned back and it was ‘boon’.

He seated himself and started lamenting. Before I could say anything, he told me that he wanted me to advocate and coddle him as he had just broke up with his girlfriend. To my ears, it was very much normal. I performed as a sincere friend but honestly, what a drama king boon was! We sat their till around 1:30pm when we had finished our lunch and then proceeded to my place. On the way to home, I sneezed and it was for the first time that he didn’t notice. I enquired, “how come you didn’t say god bless you?”. He said, “oh…. well…you sneezed? I didn’t see that.” I kept quiet. We reached home and placed ourselves before the video game. I silently and skillfully cheated in the games we played to make my score but he was caught doing so. I then hit him with a considerable amount of vigor thinking that it would hurt him, and he did not admit it even though it had hurt him. We next shared the distinctive and naughty PJs like everyday, something that was only worth the two of us. He had to pick some topic to mock me about my boyfriend! By then it was 4:15 pm and the fact that he was parting to hostel the next day had not bothered me.

He went back to his place and me to my science tuition. None of us had finished our homework, which was an excuse. I retuned home at around 6 and studied history till 9. That subject almost slaughtered me. I didn’t even feel like looking at that history book. It was a terror! But I had to. At 9:pm, I was on the net and satisfied my greed for orkutting. I had dinner at 10. After finishing my dinner, I studied till 12:30 and then went to bed. Till around 2,I kept myself busy with all kinds of thoughts. I speculated," how should I react when boon leaves ?and how will i react when he leaves?" I finally snoozed at around 2.


DAY II
It was 8:am in the morning and rain dominated the occasion. I wanted to continue sleeping, as it was a holiday while I realized that mum had set 4 alarms in a row for me to get up and why not? It was ‘10th grade’! I forced myself to wake up, walked to the mirror, smiled before it for sometime and then ruptured laughing. I brushed my teeth, took a 35 mins shower and rambled around for sometime. I then advanced to my study table. It was 9:am by then. After completing an hour of mathematics, my mind switched between physics and the latest issues around. The instant the clock hit 11; I hummed, “oh shit! I must keep up my record of not getting late.” I right away prepared myself and it took 15 mins from home to barista. On reaching, table no.12 was adorned with 2 mugs of hot chocolate fudge, the classic Italian pizza without tarnishing and 4 orchids in the center. The everyday 11:30am quarrel at the bench beside was obtainable. The melody of Mozart was evident at 11:30am. I then heeded to the tone that said, “I know I am late but I am that busy you see, I have so much to do…. after all, I am the only responsible being around. I turned back and it was ‘boon’.

That emotional and poignant feeling had started rising by then. I realized that I would miss him. He seated himself, kept quiet for two mins and said, “ You are the lone being in the entire planet that understands me. When I desire to cry, your shoulder lets me feel better, when I wish to smile, you give me a reason to, and you are always there when I need you. And I know that you won’t abscond when the world deceives me. We have been best friends right? And promise me that we will always be for I really love you more than anything else, I really need you more than anything else and you really value more than anything else. I am literally the luckiest person on earth to have a friend as good as you and I am convinced about the verity that nobody could have done what you did for me and why not, you are my best friend.The very thing i want to convey is thank you!thank you for everything.” That was a moment to laugh as well as sob. On one hand, how could that idiot be so emotional and tender? What dialogue dude! And on the other hand, he was actually leaving for hostel and every word he informed had touched me.

At around 1:30, after lunch,we moved towards the station where both his family and mine had been waiting. I feared the moment of departure, which had finally arrived. I wanted to tell him that my feelings resembled every word he conveyed at barista. I didn’t want to loose someone who is a father at times, sometimes a mother, a brother occasionally, a therapist very often and most essentially, the best FRIEND I have ever had.I wanted to make things normal then,so i said,"oh come on!I know I am too divine to do without but you have to .That is the way life goes on.Yeah...you won't find a friend as good as me but i guess you'll manage.And look at the brighter side,you can be the best of all as you won't have me to compete and thrive over you!You'll get to be the hero as well!And I am the best you see!".He argued,"may be you are the best but i am still better."Ah!I breathed calmly as things appeared normal.He finally smiled with tears and moved on with his last words which were,"I love you". I returned home from station and didn’t feel like studying. Didn’t even feel like orkutting! I realized that I would have to check his emails everyday, as he would not be able to do so in hostel very often and trust me, it was for the first time that I didn’t loathe doing that. I recognized that boon was essentially a ‘boon’ without which I couldn’t do. I thought of my dear friend, shed tears and took a nap.

DAY III
It was 8:am in the morning and rain dominated the occasion. I wanted to continue sleeping, as it was a holiday while I realized that mum had set 4 alarms in a row for me to get up and why not? It was ‘10th grade’! I forced myself to wake up, walked to the mirror, smiled before it for sometime and then ruptured laughing. I brushed my teeth, took a 35 mins shower and rambled around for sometime. I then advanced to my study table. It was 9:am by then. After completing hour mathematics, my mind switched between physics and the latest issues around. The instant the clock hit 11; I hummed, “oh shit! I must keep up my record of not getting late.” I right away prepared myself and it took 15 mins from home to barista. On reaching, table no.12 was adorned with 2 mugs of hot chocolate fudge, the classic Italian pizza without tarnishing and 4 orchids in the center. The everyday 11:30am quarrel at the bench beside was obtainable. The melody of Mozart was evident at 11:30am.BUT there was no tone to be heard! Yet, I turned back and there was nobody!It didn't feel good.The only possibility was to wait for a call from him.

X-------I warned you she was worth discarding but why would you consider me? You wanted to be a ‘friend’ to her but turned out to be a ‘fool’ my dear.
Initially you appeared like the charismatic crown and she a plain contender. She confined you to her and charmed herself with your beauty, and chucked off all the splendid diamonds from you when satisfied. Yet you did not lament to shine for her.

She emerged as the violent stone that ruined all your ‘trust’. But you offered the complete scope to bear the stone before your frail eyes.

She showed herself as the ‘eagle’ that slashed off your ‘conviction’ and you the silly nightingale mourning about it! However, you tolerated her flying in the utmost spot of the sky.

And eventually, she proved to be the slyness monarch with all the authority and value, and you a mere individual with no one to feel for you.

Oh! You trusted her and hurt yourself. Nevertheless, your tears were worth nothing. Didn’t you recognize that the world is so ‘self-centered’? Didn’t u understand that it’s all about ‘egotism’? HOW DO I EXPLAIN THAT TRUST HURTS? But why am I telling this to you? I’m sure you are least disturbed for you are in your land of trance. And after all, you are an emotional fool you see.






M-----------I coincide that I was hurt. I wanted to be a ‘friend’ but turned out to be a ‘fool’.

I did not lament to shine for her because it showed that my diamonds were not chucked off by then. It confirmed the glitter and sparkle of my pure diamonds, and might be that the shine of the diamonds would brighten her soul.

I didn’t regret to bear the stone before my eyes for might be, my tears would melt the stone.

She was not the eagle at that moment, but a naive dove
that had lost it's way in the darkness and waited for the morning love.

ultimately, she was the innocent ‘girl’ who demanded direction and intimacy
and not the cunning monarch with all the value and supremacy
and I was not the mere individual with no one to feel for me
but the adoring friend of hers, the all I could be.

And for a fact, IT’S NOT THE TRUST THAT HURTS, IT’S THE CONSEQUENCE OF THE TRUST THAT HURTS.
I’ve learned I was mistaken for I had TRUSTED her, I hadn’t assumed that the world is ‘self-centered’. I hurt myself for no reason.And now, I try not to get eager, I try to be conscious but.....…. I’m an emotional fool you see.

may be,i can change the world!

The dreams, the desires are undeniably obscure
are not easy but requisite for sure
are for eternity censured, unnoticed
as if the road to brightness is ceased
it appears so dark, deeply dim
every moment, all is grim
but the mantra is ‘keep on the hold’
for may be, I can change the world

it ensues because ‘humanity’ exists
the thought for integrity still persists
and this reinforces determination
sincerity, cheerfulness and adoration
this is the sensation that firmly urged,
may be, I can change the world

if all are still, selfish and inexpressive
if all are cold and insensitive
who’ll realize the decisive part?
that ‘someone has to make a start’
I value a heart of gold
for may be, I can change the world


and today I am glad for I’m pleasant,
a part of an effort so significant
my ethics and morals have never curled
and may be, I can change the world!

....

It was startling, so much radiant
Charmed the spirit, every instant
Oh! the miraculous manners of it
Enforced to live every bit
It always believed, you are special
Let you smile, in the world so unreal
Yet how dear could it be?
Was shattered by the loved thee
And here you say, “ Appalling it seems,
I value, should have pursued my dreams”

Life

There was a time, life was stale and unpleasant. Realities rested nowhere. The only thing mind crooned was to recognize self. With each day passing, new thoughts came up. The world around was reluctant to favour. Things were like a star that could not shine. Different sayings and thoughts surrounded mind.

One day, I deeply wondered, what is life? It did not take too long. I had it all in my inner self. It just had to be discovered. It said, “life is Remix and the cause to it is happiness.” A little bewildering at first it appeared but then, yes. Life is Remix and the cause to it is happiness. Life is to live and to stay happy. The reason behind quoting that “life is remix” was that life is a little bit of everything. A little bit of everything. A bunch of happiness, a cluster of dilemma, a horde of passion, a crowd of emotions, a duo of evil, a morsel of faith and several more. The more important is the way to live life, which is again, a little bit of everything. The soul supposed, it is my ONLY and ONLY life. A little bit of all good can make it more contented. Living life in, as many facets of cheerfulness can satisfy my cause to live. After all, I won’t have another life to live what I missed out in my only life. And tomorrow, I don’t want to regret that I shattered THE most precious gift of god.

And today, I live life; look for happiness in everything I do; I learn by heart, it’s MY life; smile and spread the smile around.

love

There was a girl, uninformed about the spurious world. Innocent like a child’s soul, clear like a crystal and loving like an angel. Things that valued in her life were happiness and love. Love, which held a complete place in her life. She never realized what the world around thought of the word, neither she wanted to realize. It was her who knew that her love was what she called ‘love’
She met this boy who was a part of the unrealistic world that had no significance in her life. Initially his presence did not bother her but things unexpected did happen. The dreams not to be dreamt, were dreamt. A day was such when she realized that nothing else could matter more than him.It was unfortunate of her that her so-called 'friends' had a different impression about what love was. She never considered infatuation wrong, she rather knew that it was natural, but not then. That was something that had never happened before. It appeared like the stars shone ONLY for him, the flowers blossomed ONLY for him, the birds flew ONLY for him, jingles were tuned ONLY for him and life was to be lived ONLY for him. Disregarding the girl’s wishes, the boy was informed about it. Like all else, he did not appreciate what she meant.He regretted being a friend to her and disliked her to the extent he could. Things were tough for her. What people thought never bothered her, she just wanted him to know, how much she loved him and may be that is why she wrote this to him:

Dear friend,
The clean intended me depicts love as a desire to share happiness with CARE and to possess. I recognize love in four wits that are a part of my morals.

Love to all beings is the humanity of me
Love to favoured ones is the nature of me
Love to intimate ones is the emotion of me and
Love to you is the happiness of me.

Love is a sentiment, an emotion.Showing affection, care and concern is love. Happiness through making happy is love and at a moment, a special place is captured in life by the lone thing that values the most to us. And that love is the happiness of us and indeed, it can be anybody or anything. For a son, if his father values MOST, that is love. For a child, if its toy values MOST, that is love. For a friend, if a friend values MOST, that is love. When emotions are the PRIORITY, concern is a FACT, love is palpable and the cause to the MOST of each is the love, which witnesses the happiness of us. And says who that is has to be our date? It is all very inconsistent. It can be anybody or anything that can have feelings attached to us.For me, it’s my IDEALS and YOU who play the MORE important part in life. I do not blush when friends talk about you, I am not envious when I lose space around you, I don't want you to be called mine, I ndon't want to go around, I just want to see u HAPPY, only want to spend TIME with you, LOVE is the only desire, I want to be friends since friendship is THE best relationship on earth. I desire to spend the more of my life with you and trust me, I'll love you the way you want me to, as a FRIEND, a sister or whatsoever. Ever wondered if none knew what relationship or feelings boast what names? Love would have been on the true place on earth. After all, the name to the relationship does not matter, what really matters is how much you care. My love can surrender all, abide all and endure all. Please believe the spotless love of mine, I JUST WANT TO SEE YOU HAPPY. If I upset you, please shun it. That will be the cause to my pleasure but please don’t misconstrue me.I want to be ‘the best of your friends’, but yet,can we only be friends? Whoever you are, whatever you are, whatever you think, I love you and I’ll always do. Besides my principles, its you who values. I’ve learnt it isn't my fault that I love you. But if I hurt you, I’m sorry.
Today you are before my sight, tomorrow you won’t. But I have to go on with life. But I bet! It’ll be you whose nonappearance will bother me more than anything else on earth. Tears will border me but I’ll be helpless. The only doable act would be to plead god, wherever you are, you are HAPPY.

Can’t live with you, can neither live without you, the only thing I can do is love you.

The stars twinkled bright and high,
A drop of tear, in my eye
The silence of the wind to me,
Crooned to feel good and free

Whatever happened was all very obscure,
The melting of my heart was sure
And there stood you, with a boastful face
Slowly and gaily, you hypnotized with grace.

Should I call it magic, which was on for the while?
Your lovely, intoxicating, enigmatic smile

A drop of tear, the slightest smile and ineffable love I had
I discovered myself, the moment that made me feel glad
This was all of the moment with all my concern and care
Proper or mistaken, it never bothered, I couldn’t risk to dare

Nothing ever had so deeply bothered
Such miraculous voice was never heard
The love so sweet is much to say
It absconded me in great dismay

It’s thee who has an effect on life
A clear verity, nowhere to strife.
It’s thee who abducted all of me
Resembling the waves away from sea

I however hope to smile for you
Nevertheless, I live for you
A thousand sorrows nowhere stand
You are the paradise; it’s your land

May be this is why I love you
This is why you value
This is why you bother
You rule it all, rather

what if it was sure of them to never see each other again? The girl could not forget the coquettish glances, the innocent soul; the somewhere adoring FRIEND and that is how she would live life with the mesmerizing days.

What is good to me????????

At times, certain instances cause situations that induce us to think, what is good and what is bad? So did happen with me. I contemplated, what was good to me and what did I consider bad? In all kinds of enigmas and irrelevant thoughts, I failed to perceive that it was very clear before me. What I thought would extend happiness, was good and things that would create a gloomy milieu were bad.
But indeed, it wasn’t what I liked or disliked, what I appreciated or ostracized for I knew, we are ‘individuals’ and our preferences differ. But facts do not.
However, the genuine query was, “who is good and who is bad?”
And then, the wits believed, “NO LIVING CREATURE ON EARTH IS BAD” It’s us who assert individuals as bad, which is very wrong PROVIEDED LIMITS ARE CONSIDERED AND THE ISSUE IS BEARABLE. Discussing about humans, no wonder, each one has distinct bad qualities but if this is the cause to declare an individual bad, no one is supposed to be good. It’s evident for humans to bear bad qualities in them. But, that is nature and is NOT IN OUR INFLUENCE. BUT, what we have in our hands is our CHARACTER, which takes the INITIATIVE TO CONQUER OUR AWFUL NATURE. As an example, my ego, bad temper and extra sensitiveness are my BAD qualities. But my character says that I must surrender them and that is what makes me a nice human being. Furthermore, why do we IGNORE THE GOOD THINGS about people? And when we claim that one is bad bad, we might have WORSE qualities.
A PERSON IS HENCE, NOT TO BE JUDGED BY THE NATURE, BUT BY THE CHARACTER.
And this is the reason, I don't dislike anybody, I don't detest anybody. No doubt, there are people, I’m not fond of, I’m uncomfortable with, but I can't meant any harm, neither can I dislike them. However when the issue is deep or psychologically atypical,exceptions can be considered. And today, although I have people who have harmed me, I can't think of revenge for I know, this is nature and those individuals somewhere have a kind human in them, which will only appear when I manage things with adore, concern and passivity and EXPLAIN THEM THE PATH TO LOVE since TOLERANCE AND LOVE MATTER AS EVERY HUMAN BEING DOES HAVE EMOTIONS.

And this is why I entitle myself as a FRIEND OF ALL.

What my religion was?

Certain occurrences had made me think, what my religion was? What did I have devotion in? The only voice was heard which whispered, I believed in god but I was never religious.
God existed universally, was seen in distinct forms. To some it were the saintly statues, to some the holy Koran, to some the divine Bible and to some the virtuous nature.
To me it was my INNER IDENTITY, to me it was HAPPINESS, to me it was LOVE and to me it was HOPE. What spirit said was the only precedence, purity was the cause, for I believed in god but I was never religious.
The rituals and the illogical comprised no place in my existence; innocents were never impaired for things very illusory. The desire was only to LIVE, the hope was simply to SMILE, for I believed in god but I was never religious.

I valued all’s faith, realized that each one has a way to consider god and that was the cause, I NEVER DISREGARDED any religion unless it rooted harm. I was fine with all; I was DELIGHTED with the GOOD of all, for I believed in god but I was never religious.
Yet again, when it came to me, adore, cheerfulness and hope were the only traditions to reach god, to worship and to devote. No matter, what you worshiped, how you devoted, there existed a supremacy that assisted you to reside contented. It made me really glad, it made me feel good, for I believed in god but I was never religious.

The very childish but true.............

One bright day, myself was busy,
With the homework not so easy
A sound was heard from the door,
I found my old man ready to bore
He convinced me to the town fete,
To go with papa, I was set

In the way, I hoped for fun
Some thrilling move in my body begun
And so did happen, I enjoyed the fete
Oodles of fun to me there met

Way to home, pa made a stop
He then entered the butcher’s shop
I followed him there
And tried to stare
What was on?Where pa had gone

I saw a lamb, little and cute
Waiting for momma, mum and mute
Momma came running with a skittish look
Cuddled her baby, in her arms she took

Then the slaughter rushed towards momma
A situation of real dilemma
And what else could happen, mum was cut
The baby was gloomy, couldn’t do anything but

I did see tears in the little eyes
Farewell to mum, wasn’t wise
It wanted to say, “That’s unfair”
But reality was worse than any nightmare

The reality said, nothing it could say
The possibility was to walk away

Friends opposed, when I quoted, “That’s unfair”
They responded, “It isn’t very rare”
With the fauna, it was compared
But I had an answer prepared

We are humans, the so-called “supreme creation of god”
And if we don’t comprehend, it has to be odd
The fauna won’t recognize, that is nature
But we have brains, the vital feature

If we are selfish, who’ll hoard the planet?
The earth can’t dream of delight, I bet!
The court of law is help, when it comes to us
But none to talk for them even after a thousand buzz

It’s for you to decide your benevolence,
And you can always make a difference

SANANDA..................

Happiness- the only cause to life. The life so wonderful we live, merely to subsist happy.
The ‘so much’ in life we perform, only to subsist happy. The all in life we accomplish, simply to subsist happy. All that is happening on earth is solitarily to subsist happy.

Like I believe, happiness is the cause to all in life. Amongst the various synonyms of happiness is ‘SANANDA’.
Possibly, god rested in a pleasant frame of mind when bringing me on earth, may be god was so delighted with the lovable ‘me’ that he named me‘SANANDA’ which is THE most imperative thing in life. SANANDA represents BEING HAPPY AND MAKING HAPPY AS WELL. And for an actuality, I’m COMPLETELY DEDICATED to my name for I realize the only cause to life. Yes, I believe in surviving happy and extending happiness around.
To be honest, I was initially thwarted with the unusual name I had but when I matured, I discovered my self and discovered the significance of my name as well. I’m one of the VERY LUCKY people on earth who have acquired the VERY APT NAME FOR THEMSELVES. And this is why I thank god for doing me such a gratifying favour, bestowing me the name that portrays me best.

And at this moment of my life, I’m proud of being SANANDA for I believe in residing happy and multiplying happiness around!